Yeah, you heard me. This not my hole – nothing fits.

As you may have noticed I’ve been a bit quiet lately. I’ve been away in Glasgow getting my new flat, and since I’ve been back I’ve been either working on the freelance commitments, or packing my gear for removals next month. Herein, lies the problem…

This is the way it goes with box packing. You get up one morning and set up the first box. With me it’s either rpg books, or dvds.

The first box or two go swimmingly, because for some reason they always do. Everything fits like bloody tetris and you think ‘aw man, I’m going to breeze this’ as you look up at the substantial  dent you’ve put the packing.

Then… comes the graphic novels, and the ‘bits’. All the stuff that simply won’t go together. Yeah, Dave … this is what you get for buying those daft european comics that are all different sizes, and hardback. Then it’s onwards to staplers, desk toys, the odd shaped Magic promo box Wizards sent me last year. In complete reverse of the Amigara Fault, nothing fits in the way it should. You literally spend double the time on things that have little or no consequence in your day to day life. The only reason you’re here now is that everything has to leave the premises in three weeks.

Receipts, printed documents and reference pictures lie ahead of me. Joy.

Dava

http://brasscockroach.com/h4ll0w33n2007/manga/Amigara-Full/Amigara-0.html

This nasty little horror story really shit me up earlier in the year. It’s called The Enigma of Amigara Fault, by the manga artist Junki Ito. It’s around 40 pages long, but it’ll only take you about 15-20 mins to read it, but I suspect the story will stay with a lot longer. I can’t really go into this story without giving it away, so it’s best you just read it, and then hate me for directing you to it and the nightmares that will follow.

Just remember – out in the mountains, there is a hole waiting for each and every one of us.

Dava

You’re very welcome, Valerie.

Dava

1. Live Action Wombles

Look, I’m not talking about the lovely wee animated Wombles from the tv series. I’m talking about the blank eyed, sociopathic, 7 foot juggernaut beings that appeared in the real world. They said they were ‘a band’, but I knew better – they were in fact WAMPAS, and they were here to eat all children, excluding Boonie Bloody Langford – bitch. My cousin had a massive poster of Tomsk on her bedroom door. I practically wet myself whenever I saw it.

2. Satan’s Raven from Omen II

‘No, it’s alright Mum. Sure i can sit with you and Dad and watch Omen II and not shit myself. *I* won’t be scared’.

………

Satan wants to kill people; he doesn’t send an animal that can deal out some serious damage – a rhino, or Ostrich, but the RAVEN still works out quite well. It worked on me. The Raven is small, but he’s got this great theme tune thumping out whenever he arrives ‘CAWRACK! CAWRACK!’. And then the camera zooms in on his beady little eyes, EVIL.

Anyway, he only kills one person by himself in the movie, and he’s helped out by his best mate, a 20 ton truck. Still, the whole ‘eye pecking’ scene scarred me for about four years.

3. Public Service Warnings

Yes, you all know them. Their messages had the desired effect, didn’t they? All my brothers and sisters born in the seventies will no doubt get behind me when I say that the Public Service Warnings worked TOO WELL. Oh, there’s far too many to mention, but they were all trauma-inducing experiences. Don’t open the door to strangers or you’ll be eaten by a monster (my personal favourite), don’t climb electric pylons (Billy!!!! Bzzzzzzzzt!!!! Eeeeeeee!!!!!), Donald Pleasance as the Death Spirit that wants to drown you in a far off reservoir, and on and on……

4. Threads

This is a Horror film, and it’s the worst kind because we all thought it might just come true. There have been several decent Nuclear Holocaust films made throughout the years, but none come close to the relentless, unflinching, pitch-black bleak hour and a half that is Threads. The Beeb really wanted to show the British people what might might happen if some old fart in America or Russia decided to press the button. The first half of the film is lead up to the war, and second half is an excruciatingly detailed aftermath spanning the next 15-20 years, where the cast are either killed off slowly and painfully by the effects of radiation sickness, or descend into madness in the new and harsher world. You think ‘The Mist’ has a sombre ending?  Check this one out.

(A proper review of this film coming soon from Dava and Jared)

Dava

Bloody hell, I never thought I’d see the day when Henry Spencer from EraserHead was a fashion icon….

Dava

In July 1940, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge opened. 4 months later, it collapsed.

Read all about it on Wikipedia.

Galloping Gertie collapsed