He’s back. RedLetterMedia reviews Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones.

Yes, there’s a new Predator movie coming out. That’s not what I’ve got to show you today, though.

Vot der matter, Dutch, der CIA got dich pushink too many der pencillinks, ja?

Dava and I were discussing websites recently, and we decided to share a few sites we read that have little or nothing to do with writing or gaming. The first would be one of my favourites, Ned Hepburn’s Boner Party. While on the surface, it’s a sexist objectification (and therefore NSFW sometimes) of women, the comedy inherent in the writing will lift it above the base sexism and you’ll soon realise that it’s both sexist and genius. He’s lecherous because he cares.

"Christina Fucking Hendricks" on Boner Party

“And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consolations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through”
Changes, David Bowie

Nice one, David – although it’s not always the case :-

MESA, AZ – Police have identified a 17-year-old boy who was killed Saturday when his teenaged sister accidentally ran over him with her car.

Dwight was taken to a local hospital in extremely critical condition and was later pronounced dead.

Dava

It’s the Star Wars Holiday Special! Things to look out for: Carrie Fisher is far from sober, and it’s a little depressing. Harrison Ford doesn’t want to be there. Mark Hamill talks like a kid’s TV presenter. Chewie’s son is called Lumpy. Oh, and it’s so bad even George Lucas, who had little to do with it, disowns it. This is why he became such a control freak and why we ended up with Episode One (review).

So, get some Wookiee-ookies from the cookie jar, pour yourself a drink the size Carrie Fisher would and enjoy. Happy Life Day!

Rather than assume you’ve seen this video, I’ll just embed it without comment.

Contrary to popular opinion, the soundtrack isn’t East Hastings by Godspeed; it’s In the House – In a Heartbeat by John Murphy.

All this could have been avoided if he’d just remembered his pee bottles.

A beautifully illustrated tale of woe, told in words, MS Paint and piss.

You know the weird song Diva Dance in The Fifth Element? Sure you do, it was the one that they needed to use samplers to make it work. Yeah, that one. Someone should have told this young lady that it’s physically impossible to sing.

Or not. Wow, Mooltipass to you, young lady. Mooltipass.

Paul Sanderson, a friend, said: ”Chris has always been a bit crazy, but this is taking things a bit too far – even for him.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/6712576/Crisp-lover-changes-name-to-Mr-Monster-Munch.html

Dava

(I think Roast Beef is the best flavour – what do you lot think?)

Now the case has been dropped after forensic analysis found elk hair and saliva on his wife’s clothes.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8384143.stm

Dava

Aww, look at ‘im… those funny ears and warm brown eyes :-

BUT ……

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1229998/The-horrifying-moment-bear-mauls-man-climbed-zoo-enclosure.html

I mean, what is it with some people!? Bears will fuck you up – FACT. Ask Timothy Treadwell. Death by Bear has got to be up there with Death Under Train. Slow, gruesome, painful and disturbing in the extreme to anyone looking on.

Sigh…. Maybe it’s because some folks feel this kinship towards animals; that you’ll somehow garner more respect from an animal because you like them so much. They won’t harm you because in some way you’re more like them than other people. BUT YOU’RE NOT.

Bears will fuck you up. Even Paddington, I kid you not.

Dava

Found here. A diatribe on a satellite.

Object of beauty

Yes, it’s got to be a hoax. The website is at Mass: We Pray. Clever stuff.

“I looked up and I saw this like huge-looking creature,” she said, adding that it wasn’t a manatee or dolphin.

And it wasn’t ManBearPig either :-

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/nov/16/man-says-30-foot-monster-lurking-canals-madeira-be/news-metro/

Dava

Here’s a great article on the origin of the word meep by our old friend Tim Dedopulos. Check out his blog; he’s rather good, you know.

http://www.ghostwoods.com/2009/11/know-your-memes-meeping-793/

For the record, my cats are known as the meeps as meeping was one of their hobbies.

“One resident living on the street initially thought the address “would be fun”, but claimed that the novelty quickly wore off.”

http://www.aroundglobe.net/2009/11/would-you-like-to-live-in-butt-hole.html

Dava